Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Review: Don't Tell Her to Relax: 22 Ways to Support Your Infertile Loved One Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond by Zahie El Kouri


About the Book:

Twelve percent of all women of childbearing age struggle with infertility, or 1 in 8 couples.

Despite these statistics, and the fact that so many women struggle to have a child, most of them feel alone, in part because those closest to them don’t know what to say or how to say it. Perhaps you are one of these people. You don’t want to offend your loved one; you don’t want to make her sad; you don’t want to intrude on her privacy. But you also don’t want her to feel alone. You want to offer love and support and the opportunity to discuss what she is going through.

To try and help those struggling with infertility and the people who love and support them, former lawyer Zahie El Kouri wrote the new book, Don’t Tell Her to Relax: 22 Ways to Support Your Infertile Loved One Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond. Based on her own painful experiences, El Kouri teaches readers how to be supportive with women dealing with fertility issues without being intrusive or offensive. Written in a compassionate and friendly tone, this new book is the ultimate guide for family members and friends who wish to help and emotionally support a loved one cope with the stress and frustration of infertility.

Designed as a tool to open the conversation between the person who is going through infertility and the person who wants to help, Don’t Tell Her to Relax also touches on:

· Common Causes and Diagnosis: Common causes of infertility and different types of diagnostic procedures

· Treatments and Costs: Various fertility treatments such as IUI (intrauterine insemination) and IVF (in vitro fertilization) as well as the financial costs associated with each

· Hormones: The volatility of emotions that fertility hormones can produce in your loved one and how to handle them

· Emotional Support Simple tips to help your loved one minimize stress and focus on the future

· Building a Family: All of the ways possible to build your own family including: surrogacy, gestational carriers, embryo adoption, and traditional adoption

· And much more!

Book Details:

Paperback: 62 pages
Publisher: BookBaby (April 12, 2015)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1631928058
ISBN-13: 978-1631928055

Paperback Link:


Kindle Link:


My Review:

I don't normally accept self-help or non-fiction books for review. However, when the representative from Smith Publicity contacted me about Don't Tell Her to Relax, after reading what the book was all about, I couldn't say no. This is a book that I've been waiting on, for 10 years.....

You see, I'm infertile; I've never been able to produce offspring. The subject of this book is none other than me and countless other women (and their significant others) who've been unsuccessful in their quest to become parents. Very few people understand the pain, emotions, and conflict that are stirred up in the minds of the people who so desperately wish to have children, are unable, and yet have to live among those that can. Speaking from experience, these emotions aren't 24/7. Sometimes the feelings only crop up once in a while, sometimes they crop up and stay for a week.

It's very difficult some days to be happy when a friend announces they are pregnant or that a co-worker's daughter is having a baby. I fake a smile quite often while offering a "Congratulations" that is anything but heartfelt. It's not anything against the person but it just reinforces what is unattainable and with every passing year, becomes even more unlikely. To make matters worse, my husband and I can't afford the thousands of dollars that fertility testing/treatments would cost nor the cost of adoption, surrogacy, or gestational hosts. It's just not possible.

This short book is packed full of helpful hints for those who know people that are infertile. I appreciate the efforts that the author put forth in order to educate others about people who have fertility issues. The more people that read this book, the better our society will be at not alienating those who are unable to have children. Thank you, Kahie, for writing this book filled with tips and suggestions to help family members, friends, and everyone else support an infertile love one.

Review copy courtesy of Smith Publicity, at no cost, in exchange for an honest review.

My Rating:



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